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Students learn that honesty should be balanced with kindness and how to tell the truth gently.
Have you ever told the truth and accidentally made a friend cry? It feels like a 'truth-ache' in your tummy, doesn't it?
Quick Check
If you tell the truth but you are trying to be mean, is that 'Kind Honesty'?
Answer
No, that is 'Brutal Honesty' because it doesn't include kindness.
Before you say something true, you can use a special filter in your brain. This is called reframing. You take a 'sharp' truth and make it 'soft.' Ask yourself: Is it ? Is it ? Is it ? If your words are just true but not kind, they might need a 'makeover' before you say them out loud.
Imagine your friend has chocolate all over their face after lunch. 1. Brutal Way: 'Your face is super dirty and gross!' 2. Kind Way: 'Hey, you have a little chocolate on your chin. Do you want a napkin?' Both are true, but the second way helps your friend feel good.
Quick Check
What is the name of the tool we use to change 'sharp' truths into 'soft' truths?
Answer
Reframing (or using the THINK filter).
Sometimes we need to tell a truth that is hard to hear, like when a friend isn't following the rules of a game. Instead of saying 'You are doing it wrong,' try to be a coach. Use encouraging truth. This means you talk about what is happening and then offer a way to help. It keeps the friendship strong while still being honest.
You get a sweater for your birthday. You think it is itchy and the color is ugly. 1. Step 1: Find one true thing that is nice. 'Thank you for the gift!' 2. Step 2: State your feeling gently. 'It feels a little scratchy on my skin.' 3. Step 3: Focus on the kindness. 'I am so happy you came to my party!'
What is 'Brutal Honesty'?
Which of these is a 'Kind Truth' about a friend's messy drawing?
You should always say every true thought that pops into your head, even if it's mean.
Review Tomorrow
Tomorrow morning, try to remember the three parts of the THINK filter: Is it True, is it Helpful, and is it... (can you remember the last one?)
Practice Activity
Today, if you see something you don't like, practice 'reframing' it in your head before you speak. Find one kind thing to say instead!