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Practicing dialogue to resolve small disagreements peacefully.
Imagine you and your best friend both want the very last swing at recess. Instead of shouting or pushing, what if you had a 'secret code' that could make you both happy?
When we get upset, it is easy to point fingers and say, "You are being mean!" This is a 'You' Statement, and it often makes people want to argue back. To solve a conflict peacefully, we use 'I' Statements. This is a special way of talking where you focus on your own feelings instead of blaming your friend.
By using this formula, you are being a leader. You are explaining why you are upset without starting a fight. It helps the other person understand you better!
Imagine a classmate takes your favorite sparkly pencil without asking. 1. Identify the feeling: You feel sad or annoyed. 2. Identify the action: They took the pencil. 3. Build the statement: "I feel sad when you take my pencil without asking because it is my favorite one."
Quick Check
Which word should you start with to tell someone how you feel without blaming them?
Answer
The word 'I'.
Sometimes, two people want different things. You want to play tag, but your friend wants to play hide-and-seek. This is where we use a compromise. A compromise is a 'middle ground' where both people give up a little bit of what they want to find a solution that makes everyone happy.
Two great ways to compromise are: 1. Taking Turns: You do one person's idea first, then the other person's idea later. 2. The Split: You find a way to do a little bit of both at the same time.
Compromising shows that you care more about your friendship than winning an argument.
Two friends have 20 minutes of free time. One wants to draw, the other wants to build with blocks. 1. Suggest a turn: "Let's build blocks for 10 minutes, then draw for 10 minutes." 2. Suggest a split: "What if we build a house of blocks for our drawings to live in?"
Quick Check
If you and a friend decide to play your game today and their game tomorrow, what is that called?
Answer
A compromise (or taking turns).
Most small disagreements, like who goes first in a game, can be solved with your words. However, some problems are Big Problems. You should stop and find an adult (like a teacher or parent) immediately if: - Someone is in danger of getting hurt. - Someone is being mean on purpose over and over again (bullying). - You have tried your 'I' statements and compromises, but the other person is still being unsafe or won't listen.
Asking for help isn't 'tattling.' It is being a Peacemaker. Adults are there to keep you safe and help you learn how to handle the big stuff.
A group of older students is blocking the slide and won't let anyone use it. They are calling people names. 1. Recognize the problem: This is not a small disagreement; it is bullying and unsafe. 2. Stay safe: Do not try to argue with them yourself. 3. Get help: Walk directly to the teacher on duty and explain what is happening.
Which of these is a helpful 'I' statement?
What is a 'compromise'?
You should ask a teacher for help if someone is being bullied.
Review Tomorrow
Tomorrow morning, see if you can remember the three parts of the 'I' statement formula: I feel... when... because...
Practice Activity
Today at home or school, if you disagree with someone, try to suggest 'taking turns' as a way to compromise.