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Practicing how to have a debate while remaining friends and being respectful.
Have you ever had a big argument with a friend about a movie or a game and felt upset afterward? What if you could disagree so well that you actually became better friends because of it?
In a philosophical discussion, we aren't trying to knock someone down like in a wrestling match. Instead, think of it like building a giant LEGO set together. You have some pieces, and your friend has different pieces. If you only look at your own, you'll never see the whole castle! The goal is mutual understanding. This means we listen to others to see what 'pieces' they have. Even if we don't end up agreeing, we both walk away with a bigger, better picture of the world. In philosophy, we value the truth more than being 'the winner.' If we have idea and our friend has idea, together we have ways of looking at the world!
Quick Check
In a philosophical debate, what is the main goal?
Answer
The goal is mutual understanding and learning, not winning the argument.
When we disagree, it’s easy to say things like, 'You're wrong!' or 'You don't know what you're talking about!' These are called You-statements, and they often make people feel attacked or angry. To disagree nicely, we use I-statements. These focus on your thoughts and feelings instead of attacking the other person. For example, instead of saying 'Your idea is bad,' you could say, 'I see it differently because...' This keeps the conversation friendly and open. It changes the 'Logic Score' from a negative to a positive interaction.
1. The Situation: Your friend says that recess should be shorter so you can have more art time. 2. The Wrong Way (You-statement): 'You are being silly! Recess is the best part of the day!' 3. The Right Way (I-statement): 'I feel worried about that because I really need time to run around and play outside to stay focused.'
Quick Check
Why are 'I-statements' better than 'You-statements'?
Answer
They focus on your own perspective and prevent the other person from feeling attacked.
To have a great debate, we need to use respectful language. This means using 'bridge words' that connect your ideas to theirs. Phrases like 'I hear what you're saying' or 'That's an interesting point, but have you thought about...' act as bridges. Active listening is also a superpower. This means looking at the person, not interrupting, and trying to repeat back what they said to make sure you understood. If you can summarize their point before you disagree, you show that you respect their brain!
1. Listen: Your friend says, 'I think video games are better than books because they are interactive.' 2. Bridge: 'I hear you saying that you like being part of the action.' 3. Disagree Nicely: 'However, I feel that books are better because I can imagine the characters looking however I want them to.'
Imagine a group of 3 friends. Friend A says is true. Friend B says is true. You think both are a little bit right. 1. Step 1: Use a bridge for Friend A: 'I see why you think is important.' 2. Step 2: Use a bridge for Friend B: 'I also understand Friend B's point about .' 3. Step 3: Offer a third path: 'I wonder if we can combine them? I think might be the best answer!'
Which of these is an 'I-statement'?
What should you do if you disagree with someone during a philosophical discussion?
The main goal of a philosophical debate is to prove that you are the smartest person in the room.
Review Tomorrow
In 24 hours, try to remember the three parts of the 'Bridge Technique': Listen, Bridge, and Disagree Nicely.
Practice Activity
The next time you disagree with a family member about what to eat for dinner or what to watch on TV, try using one 'I-statement' and see how they react!