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Exploring the link between how we feel and what we choose to do next.
Have you ever felt so mad you wanted to roar like a giant lion, but then you decided to take a deep breath instead?
Inside our bodies, we have feelings. Feelings are like the weather. Some days are sunny and happy. Other days might feel rainy and sad, or even stormy and mad. It is okay to have all kinds of feelings! Just like the wind blows and the rain falls, feelings come and go. But there is a big difference between how we feel and what we do. While we cannot always control the weather, we can control how we act when the storm arrives.
Quick Check
If you are feeling very 'stormy' inside, what emotion might you be having?
Answer
You might be feeling mad, angry, or frustrated.
Think of a bridge. On one side is your feeling. On the other side is your action. An action is what you do with your hands, your feet, and your words. Usually, a feeling pushes us across the bridge to an action. For example, if you feel . If you feel . But sometimes, a big feeling like being mad wants to push us toward a 'mean' action. We have to remember that we are the boss of our own bridge!
1. Feeling: You feel very sad because your favorite toy broke. 2. Action Choice A: You cry and hide under your bed. 3. Action Choice B: You go to a grown-up and ask, 'Can you help me fix this?' 4. Result: Both choices are okay, but Choice B helps solve the problem!
Quick Check
Who is the boss of your hands and your feet?
Answer
I am (or You are)!
When we feel a 'big' feeling like anger, it happens fast! To stay the boss of our actions, we need to use a Pause Button. Taking a deep breath is like hitting 'pause' on a movie. It gives our brain a second to think. Instead of , we can use our pause button to choose . Even if your heart is beating fast, you can decide to be kind.
1. The Situation: A friend grabs the blue crayon right out of your hand. 2. The Feeling: You feel a 'Red' feeling (Mad). 3. The Pause: You take one big breath like you are blowing out a candle. 4. The Kind Action: You say, 'I was using that. Can I have it back when you are done?'
1. The Challenge: You just lost a board game and you feel like throwing the pieces. 2. The Goal: To stay calm and be a good sport. 3. The Steps: First, recognize the 'stormy' feeling. Second, put your hands in your pockets. Third, say 'Good game' to your friend even though it's hard. 4. Why it works: You chose a kind action even though your feeling was very grumpy.
If you feel very angry, what is the best thing to do first?
Which of these is an ACTION?
It is okay to feel mad, but it is not okay to hit.
Review Tomorrow
Tomorrow morning, try to remember: What is the 'Pause Button' you can use when you feel a big emotion?
Practice Activity
Practice your 'Pause Button' today! Take three deep breaths even if you are feeling happy, just to see how it feels.