Navigation
Understanding the feelings of others and the importance of making everyone feel welcome.
Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in, while everyone else was sharing an inside joke? What if you had the 'superpower' to understand exactly how someone else feels without them saying a word?
Most people use the words empathy and sympathy as if they mean the same thing, but they are actually quite different! Imagine a friend has fallen into a deep, muddy puddle. Sympathy is standing on the dry grass and saying, 'Oh, I'm so sorry you're stuck in that mud; it looks cold!' You feel for them, but you stay separate. Empathy, however, is like stepping into the puddle with them so you can feel what they feel. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. When you use empathy, you aren't just observing their emotion; you are connecting with it. This connection is the 'glue' that holds friendships and groups together.
1. Scenario: Your friend Leo realizes he lost his lunch money and looks like he is about to cry. 2. Sympathy response: 'That's too bad, Leo. I hope you find it!' (You feel bad for him, but move on). 3. Empathy response: You remember how panicked you felt when you lost your keys last week. You say, 'I know that panicked feeling, Leo. It really stinks. Let's go check the office together.'
Quick Check
In your own words, what is the main difference between empathy and sympathy?
Answer
Sympathy is feeling 'for' someone from a distance, while empathy is feeling 'with' someone by understanding their perspective.
1. A group of four friends is whispering about a movie. 2. When a fifth friend, Maya, walks up, the group stops talking and looks at their phones. 3. Maya feels a 'stinging' sensation in her chest and wants to leave. 4. This is her brain's way of signaling that her 'social safety' is at risk, triggering a pain response similar to a physical injury.
Quick Check
Why does being left out feel like actual physical pain?
Answer
Because the brain processes social rejection in the same areas where it processes physical pain.
Knowing that exclusion hurts is the first step. The second step is taking action! Inclusion means making a deliberate effort to ensure everyone feels like they belong. You don't have to be best friends with everyone, but you can be an 'includer.' There are three main ways to do this: 1. The Open Circle: If you are standing in a group, physically step back to create a gap for someone else to join. 2. The Direct Invite: Use a simple phrase like, 'Hey, do you want to sit with us?' 3. Common Ground: Ask a newcomer a question about something they like to find a shared interest. These small acts can stop the 'brain pain' of exclusion instantly.
1. You are playing a 4-on-4 basketball game. A new student is watching from the sidelines. 2. Your teammates are focused on the game and don't notice him. 3. Challenge: How do you include him without ruining the game flow? 4. Solution: During a break, use the Direct Invite. Say, 'Hey, we're doing 4-on-4 right now, but do you want to sub in for me next round?' This acknowledges him and gives him a clear path to join.
Which of the following is an example of empathy?
What did scientists discover about the brain and social rejection?
The 'Open Circle' technique involves physically moving to make space for someone to join a conversation.
Review Tomorrow
In 24 hours, try to remember the 'Puddle Analogy.' Can you explain to a family member why empathy is deeper than sympathy?
Practice Activity
Today at school or in an activity, look for an 'Inclusion Opportunity.' Use the 'Open Circle' or a 'Direct Invite' to include someone who is standing alone.